The Named Person

Update

2007-10-11T22:18:49+02:00

To anyone who may actualy read this blog.

I have my internet back and should be getting some of my lost files back as well so I will eventualy post the content that was intended for this blog.

First story I think will be one named Foul Play. It's a short story really (long to some I guess). Better then you reading my novel eh?

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Oh how like life...

2007-10-04T15:56:06+02:00

To have a "talk" with your parents and end it with "tomorrow you can find somewhere else to live" xD. Ahh life is going to shit the last few weeks and im not really sure what the cause is...well... I've an idea but it's not something my parents will ever find out about. I did write a post about it. I think since I got arrested my overall attitude has went downhill, i've havn't done much and messed up a lot, including my job, some relationships (not just with parents). And managed to get another £300-£400 debt. Oh well thats just life really .

Anywho off I go finaly ge tto go home in 10 minutes, so yay for me. Well technicly I get to walk about 5-6 miles to wait to get picked up then go home and finaly get home around 6pm. Fun Fun.

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Buh-Bye

2007-10-01T14:33:14+02:00

For now anyway, not even sure how long. My internet will be gone for a while therefore will only really get a chance to post at work, and I don't usualy get the chance to do so. Sooo all the plans I had for this blog really will be put on hold ! Ah well..im sure i'll be back before I even know it.

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A Close Friend..

2007-09-29T22:58:41+02:00

*Note, this is how thoughts process in my head do not want to read, stop now*

I did have how I was going to type this all planned out in my head. But as soon as I started to write this post my mind went blank.

So i'll do it as it comes.

I know this girl, and she beautiful, visualy and emotionaly. But she never goes a day without putting herself down in many ways . She never lets herself be happy, when I talk to her I can see her starting to cheer up and then she just, dno, shuts down again and goes quite. She wont accept any compliments from anyone, even me, and constantly says she is to fat (when she weighs less then me and im 6ft)

It could bother me because I am used to being able to cheer anyone up, I just have a way of doing that. I've always helped her with her problems as well and she seems to like me doing so, and every now and then I see that hint of happiness coming through..and just hope it will stay but it never does . Makes me sad..

Anywho im out time to get a near-midnight snack before bed.

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A ramble of thoughts

2007-09-29T14:40:38+02:00

Basicly if you do not wish to read what goes through my head, stop now

I was just sitting here and talking to one of my friends in the USA, they are the same age as me. And the topic of their wedding came up. Fair enough, this friend has been with their fiance for some years now and im sure they will be a happy married couple. It just made me think though.

Most of the people I know my age either have kids, getting married, or have been in a long term relationship for quite some time. Yet here I am staying single for ages and not even thinking of kids or marriage yet.

What does that mean? does it make me immature, stuck in the past, now wanting to grow up?
Or is everyone else just rushing things in life. I mean, yeah im nearly out of my teens..but I have a whole life ahead of me still, I still want to enjoy it now and then settle down, family kids house car and all that. Then I want to settle down in a job and just work day in and day out for someone, making them millions whilst I get 1% of that if im lucky.

I guess I have done more then others my age in some ways, I've traveld the world (well, some of it) for a year after I received some inheritance money. I got to see different cultures, and met many wonderful people. It was a life changing experiance, I learned a lot from the time I spent in other countrys.

I got to witness how people, in countrys that most people havn't even heard of, deal with life without all of the privledges we have in the nicer, richer countrys. Familys who barely have enough food to feed their familys happily took me in for a few days, fed me, gave me somewhere to sleep and taught me many wonderful things.

But this is going off the point a bit. Basicly I was beating myself up mentaly because everyone my age seems to have sorted their lifes out, settling down..and here I am without even the slightest glimmer of a relationship starting with anyone. Guess that's life?

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Throwing you life away...

2007-09-28T13:43:45+02:00

At such a young age. That is what I think about myself a lot. At 19 I have a £6,000 loan that is roughly £300 in arrears, and £300+ taken out on my credit card. I am in a volunteer job where I do not get paid, I am on job seekers allowance working towards a I.T User NVQ level 2 and then hopefuly 3.

However, This last monday, I was in a jail cell (read the last post to know more) So I could not make it to my signign on to get paid, therefore this thursday, I was not paid !

My life is pretty much dominated by the fact I have no money and cannot afford anything I actualy do. I have been single for to long with nothing but sexual relationships in the last 3-4 years. I had one short relationship, not sure why that ended .

My only love lives to far away to really be in a relationship, it sucks I know if I had the moeny I would be with her now..and not here.

Anyway, despite those few things that get me down a lot, I still try to enjoy life as it comes, just with a bit more planning now and a lot more consideration to what I am actualy doing and what will become of it.

That is life I guess, I am hoping to get a paying job soon within the IT sector. Which will hopefuly start me on at least 12,000 p/a. That way I will get around £900 per month. I plan to pay at the least £500 per month to my loan to get that out of the way. The plan for once I get my loan, and credit card paid off is to save half of each paycheck, and spend the rest on what I WANT . And have one big party as the weight on my shoulders will just be lifted... it will feel so great.

xD anyway, rant over!

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A Night Regretted

2007-09-28T13:29:30+02:00

Oh yes, Last Sunday (23rd September 07), I got up to no good. I was drinking slowly throughout the day and around 6pm a friend and I started drinking more heavily. We did the normal thing for my town walking around socializing and drinking. Anyway fast forward a bit through the night and you get to one of my good friends, and myself walking around with a screwdriver and a hammer. (I had the hammer) I am still not to sure why I got these but we did, and we smashed a few things. Anyway we met up with these two kids that my friend knows, and they started egging us on to rob one of the off liscence's in town. Now, with this friend and me, even if we are not drinking you should not tell us to do something over and over...because we will do it. So, we talk a little walk to the shop, check it out and go to the back door. Of course I tried the handle, don't want to smash anything if you can just open the door! I pull the handle down, *clunk* I thought, wow, keys just fell out! so I go down to the cat flap, look...and nope, it was the other door handle. So I get my hoodie off, put it against one of the windows on the back door, and smash it with my hammer. No Alarm...nice I thought I can get in now. So I reach in through the window and unbolt the door, top and bottom. Try the door...locked! damn. So we retreat back to where the other two kids are and re-think it. As they egg us on more and more we say screw it! go for the front window.

Now.. this is where things get REALLY stupid and you can tell we were not thinking straight. Firstly, FRONT WINDOW? right on the high street, cameras all around. We get to the window looking in as if were just seeing what they got (actualy we were) we spot what we will grab.

Now if we thinking straight, we would of spotted the two white things on either side of the window (alarm). But we failed to. So after much waiting and wasting time I take my hoodie off again (mess up #3, cameras all around!) Put it against the window, smash...alarm...panic...grab whatever my hand touched first and legged it back to where the kids were. Nice cool got a few beers to enjoy...

Again not thinking straight, we casualy, with stolen alcohol, and the weapon used to do the crime, walk back to my house (I live in a spot where I have cameras on either end of my street). That was another mess up of ours, then there was another..we went to the back of my house sat down opened a beer and had a smoke... left the hammer and screwdriver sitting on the table. Anyway after sitting there talking about hwo stupid that was a cop walks into my backyard..nice I thought. At first he didn't spot the hammer and screwdriver (How? I don't know) So I was praying in my head that he wouldn't..a few questions bla bla. Then we got arrested.

I believe the charges on me were, drunk + disorderly, breaking and entering, criminal damage, theft, and breach of peace.

My friend, after the interview with the police where I admitted to everything and admitted that it was all me who did it (I did mention the egging on from the kids) was only cautioned because he was drinking alcohol that he knew was stolen.

We both got a caution and were released the next day. However we both since then have been a little paranoid lol.

But that night has woke me up to the fact, I can't live everyday as I used to. Just not caring what happens, taking it as it comes. It has also woken me up to the fact that I drink to much and to often. Hopefuly I will change a bit now. Me and my friend both have to calm down a lot as we cant really get arrested again or we will get sentenced. I wont be giving up my friday/sat night of chilling with friends, But I do plan on cutting down on how much I drink in those nights. Tonight I will be going out, 8 beers at the most.

But that was my night regretted..the only night I have ever regretted and wished I could take back.

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Well

2007-09-28T11:06:12+02:00

Just thought I would make a post to get something up on my page. There is plenty to come. Mainly it will be written work by me, in random segments really. I am in the process of writting a short book so I may post a few bits from that on here. But mainly I will post my ramblings xD and give you an insight to another persons life. I of course will not name names whilst writting these...wouldn't want to embarass anyone would I? It is highly doubtful that you will even know of my name as I will be changing it in my profile hehe . More to come later!

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